Leeza Mangaldas
| Photo Credit: Special Arrangement
Unfortunately, for most people, sex and sexuality are subjects that evoke emotions of shame especially in public settings. So, I love talking about sex publicly. I want everyone in the audience to hear a woman, especially an Indian, unmarried woman, talking with joy, enthusiasm, and knowledge about sex. Often, even having knowledge about sex is considered shameful.
When people watch a discussion being had about the subject, it can be very powerful in dismantling shame because it is the subject that you are not supposed to talk about. Sometimes couples cannot talk about sex even if they are having sex!
By talking about sex in a judgement-free, joyful, enthusiastic and informed way, I light a match that then starts a small fire, which gets bigger and bigger.
Media being the primary source of information for many young people, is an extension of literature. It plays a very strong role in shaping people’s ideas about sex. The written word is my favourite way of learning about a subject, but at this point we ought to give people information in formats that they are most likely to consume.
Leeza Mangaldas
| Photo Credit:
Special Arrangement
Art, literature, and media allow us to see this from different perspectives — culturally, and psychologically, and the experiences of different genders, identities, orientations, body types and age groups.
Social media is being subjected to more censorship now, but I do like using scientifically accurate language. Over the course of being a sexuality educator online and also writing the book (The Sex Book: A Joyful Journey of Self-Discovery), I have been on the receiving end of so much first-hand feedback and questions. It has given me insight into what people are curious and concerned about, and what are the common conundrums they are facing in relationships and bedrooms.
I have learnt how universal all my insecurities are. I understand the idea that nothing human is alien. In the arena of sexuality, if we are able to take our masks off and be genuine about our hopes, fears, dreams, curiosities and boundaries, we will be able to have a lot more fun than we think.
I am driven by the vision where one day, we can hope for a world where all sexual experiences are consensual, safe, and pleasurable.
I deliberately called my book The Sex Book despite knowing that many people might have an issue. It is interesting because do you empathise with your audience’s reality, which is laden with shame, or do you make this conscious decision hoping that now there will be at least one book with ‘sex’ on the title on people’s shelves. Sometimes I do wonder, had I written something more innocuous on the title like ‘The Birds and the Bees’, maybe more people could have had it.
As told to Sangita Rajan
What are you reading currently? I just finished reading Lullaby by Leila Slimani.
One book you recommend everyone reads: Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski.
Leeza Mangaldas will be in conversation with Latha Menon, at The Hindu pavilion at 6.10pm on January 18 in a panel titled The Joy of Sex.
Published – January 17, 2025 04:06 pm IST
