Cyrus Broacha
| Photo Credit: Satheesh Vellinezhi
On March 21, it’s Parsi New Year. Let me begin by wishing all the readers a Happy Parsi New Year. Immediately, the questions are starting. Why are you wishing us? We are not Parsis? Well, let me answer that.
In India, it is customary to wish everybody for everything, and to do so is not cultural appropriation. For example, it is considered polite and good manners to wish each other Happy Chocolate Day on Chocolate Day. This is irrespective of the fact that neither the wisher nor the one being wished is a chocolate.
Now, let’s take the next query: Why is Parsi New Year celebrated three months after the New Year? Let me explain this as well. Parsi New Year is not three months behind. It is actually three months ahead. Your conventional year ends on December 31. Parsi New Year is way ahead of you, and ends on March 20, thereby leaving your year far behind, dear.
Another question has popped up: What do you do on Parsi New Year? The answer is not what you imagined it to be. It’s not such a complexed question. On Parsi New Year, you are expected to behave like a human being. Now, does this mean on other days you get to behave less than a human being? Well, controversially this is left to individual interpretation of both, Parsis and non-Parsis.
Okay, let’s move on to another query: How do I make my Parsi friend happy on Parsi New Year? Great question. If you want to show your appreciation on the occasion of Parsi New Year, gift your Parsi friend a white envelope with one-thousand-and-one rupees in it. Of course you may send more, but remember, most importantly, to write Happy Parsi New Year’, on it.
Okay, please note, the repeated use of words Happy Parsi New Year, has caused this writer chronic fatigue. So, henceforth, we’ll have to enter a weight-loss programme and use the acronym HPNY.
Now, let’s get back to pertinent questions from enthusiastic readers on HPNY — Is alcohol permitted on the occasion of HPNY? The answer, dear reader, will shock you to the core; so much so that you may need a drink. Contrary to modern convention in India, HPNY is an occasion where not only is alcohol permitted, it is requested and encouraged. Yes, this goes against the modern Indian ethos of barring alcohol on important celebrations. Please bear in mind, in the mother country, Iran, Navroz is celebrated without alcohol.
Please remember where you are, when you celebrate HPNY. If you forget doing so, it could lead to unpleasant consequences, like remaining thirsty. I hope this little column has given readers a thorough and critical examination of the vibrancy, relevance and prominence of HPNY. Now please enjoy HPNY, ASAP. TYVM. (Navroz Mubarak).
The writer has dedicated his life to communism. Though only on weekends.
Published – March 21, 2025 02:04 pm IST
